Sparky Moments
by xfirefly9x
Summary: John/Elizabeth ficlets.
1. Coming Clean

**Coming Clean**

Prompt: #004 Trust In Your Heart

Notes: Written for 7rainbowprompts. My first Sheppard/Weir fic!

One of these days, she knew she would slip. She knew that she wouldn't be able to keep her feelings for him hidden forever. Inevitably, he would find out and there was nothing she could do to prevent it.

More likely than not, it would take a near-death experience to admit anything, but seeing as such circumstances came up every other day, that chance was exceedingly high. Every time he went out on a mission, she found herself feeling a concern for him that she would lose her job over if anyone knew, and every time he didn't make it back on the predetermined time, the fear gripped her like an icy vice and threatened to overwhelm her completely.

In actual fact, she didn't want to prevent it. She longed for the day that she came clean about what she felt. Despite regulations, it would be easier on her if she didn't have to keep her emotions in check as to how much his near misses affected her.

She wouldn't have to hide away. She could be free from the frustrations of keeping everything a secret and she could maybe, just maybe, be with him. She had seen the same longing in his eyes on more than one occasion after all, and knew he felt the same for her, so it was possible for them to be together.

Until the time that she spoke aloud what she felt though, the darkness would remain around them, pushing away the orange glow of what could be. She just had to trust in her heart that the day they would get together would come soon. 


	2. A Happily Ever After

**A Happily Ever After**

Prompt: #008 Happily Ever After

Notes: Written for 7rainbowprompts. Spoilers for The Siege Parts 1, 2 & 3.

"John!" Elizabeth called out desperately, biting her lower lip and racing after her friend as he headed out onto the balcony. "You couldn't – you couldn't have known he would do that!" She reached out and grabbed his arm, her eyes automatically searching his as he spun around to meet her gaze.

"I should have known," John insisted, shaking his head. He looked about ready to punch something – his eyes were alight with emotion, dark and intense and burning. "He was looking straight at the dart and I had plenty of time to figure it all out. I should have known."

He pulled away from her and moved to the railing, gripping it tightly with both hands. Elizabeth followed and stood by his side, placing her hands in similar positions on the railing next to him, though not as forcefully. "John – " she started.

"No," he replied angrily. "It's my fault. Don't tell me it isn't!" He sighed heavily and looked down at the railing, noticing for the first time that his knuckles were going white. Next to the paleness of his skin, the orange-red glow of the afternoon sun appeared less intense than it actually was.

"I was going to say that we'll find him," Elizabeth said in a quiet voice, after several moments of silence. She stared out at the ocean as she spoke, watching the casual crashing of the waves and the shafts of sunlight reflecting off its surface.

John turned to look at her. "We will," he agreed. "And we won't give up til we have a 'happily ever after' to this, either." He set his jaw and the look of determination on his face spoke volumes.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at his choice of words and his expression, and then nodded. "We'll find him. We'll bring him home."


	3. Socks

**Socks**

Prompt: #003 Socks

Notes: Written for sparkdaily on livejournal.

White ones, black ones, grey ones.

A green one with a yellow stripe down it.

An extra black one.

John sighed.

He had never been a big fan of doing the washing when there was just _his _stuff, but now, with Elizabeth's too, he officially hated it! He really did.

The reason was not the trouble it took to put the clothes in, take them out and hang them. It was the socks.

They were always going missing! They never matched! He hated it so much!

Yup. Socks were evil.

He'd take paperwork over doing the washing any day.


	4. Pull Through

**Pull Through**

Prompt: #000 Angst "Pull Through"

Notes: Written for sparkdaily on livejournal.

They were late. Again.

It was a frequent occurrence yet Elizabeth had a bad feeling about this time, more so than all the times before. Something just felt wrong. Very wrong.

She was certain that at least one of them was injured from their last radio conversation. Injuries were becoming permanent fixtures on their bodies and she didn't like it.

The eventual return of John and his team – _if_ they returned – couldn't be soon enough.

She automatically prepared herself for the worst when the gate activated and watched impatiently. Nothing.

Then…

Rodney, barely alive himself, pulled John's limp body through.


	5. Cryptic Message

**_Cryptic Message_**

_Meet me on the balcony at twilight._

That's what the email John had sent her had read. That and nothing more. There were no clues as to what exactly the reasoning behind his request was. What he wanted from her, she had no way to know. She could only imagine.

She had not yet decided whether to actually show up or not. Surely if it were that important he'd have said something to her about it in person.

All the secrecy... It suggested otherwise, but perhaps that's what had her so intrigued. She'd always loved a good mystery. Of course that was a different story when the risk of death was a factor. 'Meet me on the balcony at twilight' didn't sound particularly threatening so she was probably going safe. And this was John. John Sheppard.

Why not pass by and see what he wanted?

She'd reached the balcony before any convincing reasons not to go came to mind and stopped short at the sight before her.

John was standing by a beautifully set table with lit candles and two plates of food atop. He grinned when he saw her and waved her over.

She obliged, cautiously, and they were nearing the end of their meals and some light conversation when it hit her.

"Is this a date?"

John's flushed face was answer enough.

_fin._


	6. Nothing But Stars

**_Nothing But Stars_**

The moment Elizabeth's lips met his, he lost sight of the ground. He was weightless and she was weightless and they were floating together above where the rest of the world had suddenly disappeared from.

There was nothing but stars dotting a clear sky and _them._ They were the centre of the universe, the centre of everything. He could _feel _everything.

He felt heat as Elizabeth's warm lips caressed his own.

He felt silk as he ran his hands through her hair.

He felt love as finally, they crashed back down to solid ground and their eyes locked.

The moment the words 'I love you' escaped his lips and the moment Elizabeth said them back, his world turned upside down all over again.

_fin._


	7. Spread Like Wildfire

**_Spread Like Wildfire_**

_**Notes:** Alternate ending to "The Long Goodbye" (my favourite-st SGA ep!) :)_

It was official.

Elizabeth Weir and John Sheppard were lost to them forever and Phoebus and Thalan had permanent control over their bodies.

Atlantis would be under new command as soon as the Daedalus was able to inform the SGC and report back with directions on who was to be in charge.

The overall consensus expected Colonel Caldwell to be their new leader, as he had stepped in when Dr Weir and Colonel Sheppard were compromised, but nothing had been confirmed as of yet. The majority of the city was far too overwhelmed to care anyway.

Rumours had spread like wildfire about exactly what had happened, most of it further from the truth than Earth was to Atlantis. Many were mourning and although they did still have Elizabeth/Phoebus and John/Thalan's bodies, any hope to reverse the transfers of consciousness had been obliterated.

Phoebus had managed to access the stasis pods before the scientists had learned anything of use and had readjusted all of the settings before she'd finally, for good measure, shot at the control panel and dismantled it. Even Rodney had confirmed it was unfixable.

There was no way to be certain that they were even still alive and their technology was too primitive in comparison to access their consciousnesses if they were.

To Atlantis and to the outside world, Elizabeth and John were no more.

_fin._


	8. Change Your Mind

**_Change Your Mind_**

"John!" Elizabeth protested, holding a hand out and pushing on his chest to keep him off her. "We can't do this anymore!" She stared into his eyes, trying to make him see the truth behind her words.

John stared back at her defiantly and tried to kiss her once more, gently taking her wrists and holding them together so she couldn't fend him off.

Again, Elizabeth objected. "We can't!"

"Why not?" He silently dared her to say it; to tell him that even after all of this time of being together, they could never really be a couple because of the positions they held at Atlantis. He knew that he was, however, military and she was civilian, which meant there were no regulations.

Taking that into consideration, there was really nothing standing in their way but themselves. All they had to do was keep their personal relationship separate from their professional relationship and it would all work out fine. It _had_been working fine between as far as he knew for the past couple of weeks.

"We just can't," Elizabeth told him, pleading with him to stop. The look in her eyes spoke volumes and John wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her. He restrained from acting on the impulse though and instead focused his energy on standing still.

"You don't want this?" he said after a long silence. "I thought things were going well."

Elizabeth grimaced. Truthfully, things _were_ going well. Or at least, they had been. "John!"

"I know, I know. I'll just go." He began to walk away, his head hanging in disappointment and his hands crossed over his chest protectively. He had almost made it around the corner when something stopped him.

Elizabeth's hand. On his arm.

He raised an eyebrow and looked at her questioningly, confused about her intentions. She didn't want him. She had made that much clear mere seconds ago. After all, she was like an angel fallen from above – why _would_ she want him? He was just a military guy, nothing special. Why was she – ?

A moment later, his unspoken question was answered: Elizabeth wrapped one hand around the back of his neck and the other pulled his head to hers, bringing him in for a kiss. Unlike all of their previous kisses, this one was gentle and soft. It didn't speak of lust like it had before, but of promises and love.

"Change your mind, huh?" John whispered against her lips with a smile as they broke away.

Elizabeth just grinned back and moved in for another kiss. Now, _that_ was a good sign!

Maybe they would be okay, after all.

_fin._


	9. Losing Control

_(A/N: leans towards NC-17!)_

_**Losing Control**_

Control. As leader of Atlantis, it is something she very much needs – and for the most part, has had.

She needs to be able to control the goings on in the city where possible. She needs to know that she can ask something of her colleagues and have them obey her. She needs to have the knowledge that she is not completely insignificant out in the vast expanses of the universe that she now calls home.

Control is something she relies on and without it, she's sure she'll come crashing down.

She can't let herself fall. Lives depend on it.

As John moves closer and closer to her though, and his lips brush over hers, she begins to think differently. A slight lack of control can't be all that bad, can it?

The answer comes to her quickly when his fingers creep to the waistband of her pants and slip inside, causing an involuntary moan to escape her.

Not when it feels like this.

_fin._


	10. Webcams And Their Many Uses

**_Webcams And Their Many Uses_**

The computer screen is blurry to the point that she can barely read the mission report she has open. There is nothing wrong with the computer itself. It's her eyes. She's been up for two days straight and hasn't had a coffee fix in several hours to keep her going.

Her eyes are stinging.

She blinks furiously and rubs at them. She yawns. No one is around, so she doesn't bother covering her mouth.

That's her second mistake.

Her first mistake, she made hours ago.

She'd installed a webcam on her computer and had earlier been chatting to John through it. He'd been the one who had persuaded her to get it in the first place. They could have face to face conversations without actually being in the same room.

She had forgotten to turn it off.

About three minutes after she yawned, John, therefore, appears in the doorway of her office. He leans against the frame, watching her for a moment.

She blinks weary eyes at him. "John. What're you doing here? It's late. You should be sleeping."

He offers her a sardonic smile. "I'm making sure you take your own advice, actually. You're tired, Elizabeth. I saw you yawn."

"You saw me… How?"

He nods at the computer.

"Oh. The webcam."

"The webcam."

"I knew you had an ulterior motive when you asked me to install one."

He quirks an eyebrow. "Yeah, well. That wasn't the ulterior motive I'd been thinking of if you get my drift."

"I…hmmm?" She gives up any pretence that she is not tired and bangs her head on the desk. She can feel John smirking at her from where he stands.

"Right. You're going to bed," he says. "No arguing."

She raises her head enough to glare at him and then drops it to the desk again.

"Am I going to have to carry you?"

She doesn't move.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," he says.

Still, she does nothing. She doesn't think he'll actually pick her up and carry her…

"Oh, god. You're actually serious."

He smirks into her hair as he picks her up in his arms and begins the walk to her quarters. "Yup. I don't joke around about things as important as the leader of Atlantis getting some sleep. We need you, 'Liz. You're no good to us tired and sleep deprived."

"What I'm deprived of is coffee."

"No! Don't even think about it!"

"But I – "

"Elizabeth!"

"Fine."

They go the rest of the way in silence. They don't speak again until they are safely inside and John has carefully helped Elizabeth onto her bed.

"So what were you thinking when you asked me to install a webcam?" Elizabeth asks, realising what else a webcam could be used for.

John looks at her, blushes. "Oh, I think you know."

"I think I do know," she agrees. "I also think it'd be more fun in person than over a camera."

He gulps and plays at the collar of his shirt with one hand.

She grins at him and pulls the covers around her. "Goodnight, John."

On his way out, she hears him mutter, "now I'm not gonna get any sleep!"

_fin._


	11. Every Day

_**Every Day**_

Every day without her is a struggle. Every day she is not safe by his side, he can't focus a hundred percent on the task at hand. She always creeps into his mind, into his thoughts, into his heart.

Her face is burned into his mind.

Every day that passes him by and every day she is gone one more day than the last is a day that what he is and who he is begins to fade and die. On those days he loses himself and loses sight of what he knows and believes. How can he remember anything when all that matters to him is her?

Every day, he wishes he could take her place so that she might live another day, if not with him than with the knowledge that he cared about her enough to sacrifice himself in order to save her.

Every day, he regrets not telling her that he loved - still loves - her.

_fin._


	12. My Disease

_**My Disease**_

"You're my disease," he tells her one day.

She frowns immediately. She doesn't get it.

"You're contagious," he tells her later.

She doesn't know whether to be offended by that or not.

"You keep me in bed when I should be getting up to start the day," he adds.

She wonders if he's accusing her of something. Maybe their new relationship is too distracting for him. Maybe he can't handle it. Maybe he wants to break up with her.

"You make my temperature rise with no trouble at all," he says hours later.

She's confused as hell. What was he trying to say?

"You're my disease and I'd have it no other way."

The pieces fall together and suddenly, she understands.

"If I'm your disease," she tells him, "then you're mine."

_fin._


	13. Return

_**Return**_

She was sitting at her desk with her hands poised on the keyboard of her laptop when it happened. Rodney, who had been informing her of the latest developments on a new piece of technology Lorne had found, had stopped speaking immediately to stare at her, dumbstruck.

Teyla and Ronon had both smirked from across the room. Carson had smiled knowingly. God only knows how the rest of the bystanders reacted.

She'd been too busy piercing the object in John's hand with shocked eyes, her face flushed.

_Earlier:_

"John?" she prompted him when she was able to force out the word.

He looked at her then, with a mysterious glint in his eyes and she knew he was going to do it. He was going to let out to the rest of Atlantis what they had discussed the night before.

What they had not discussed was how they'd go about it.

John had apparently come up with something.

"You left these in my quarters again, hon," he told her, gently placing a pair of her underwear on the end of her desk. "Thought you might need them." He winked at her, making certain she was the only one could see him doing so._ (Stop me if you're not ready.)_

Elizabeth swallowed and stared nervously back at him. "Thank you, John," she managed. (_I'm ready.)_

A collective gasp went through the room: they'd clearly thought it was a prank of sorts and had been expecting Elizabeth to scold rather than thank John.

"So," John went on as casually as if they were alone. "I'll see you tonight?"

Elizabeth nodded mutely and was barely aware of their onlookers as he leaned in and kissed her. She gave into instinct as she'd done so many times before and kissed him back.

When they pulled apart, John stroked her hair and smiled softly at her. "I love you," he murmured. The room erupted in excited conversation and then died down, waiting for Elizabeth's response.

"I love you, too," she said back. She reached out and took John's hand for a moment, squeezing it gently. "I'll see you tonight."

John nodded and backed out of the room. "I'll see you tonight," he repeated. He was gone as fast as he had come.

Elizabeth surveyed the stunned expressions on her friends' faces and cleared her throat. "Rodney," she said firmly as if John hadn't just returned her underwear to her and exchanged 'I love you's' with her in the middle of her office. He shook his head in disbelief and then continued his lecturing.

Elizabeth sat back with a smile and faded out.

Her radio crackled after a minute and she put up a hand to stop Rodney.

"Yes?" she asked.

"That went well." John.

Her smile widened and she glanced out into the control room where he'd reappeared. "That went really well," she agreed.

_fin._


	14. Can't Last

_**Can't Last**_

"Not again!" Elizabeth glared in frustration at the mirror in front of her as she felt tears well up in her eyes for the second time in less than an hour. She swiped uselessly at her eyes with the back of one hand and continued to stare at her reflection.

The woman staring back was not her. She was broken and miserable and weak. She had given up. She was everything that Dr Elizabeth Weir was not and yet…

She took a steadying breath and ignored the way her body trembled without her consent.

…Maybe it was her. Maybe she had been hiding behind a façade up until this point, one that had managed to keep even her fooled.

"Elizabeth?"

She felt a hand on her back.

John's reflection joined hers and they seemed to meld together in a blur of colours. She realised that in actuality, her eyes had filled with tears once more and the result was that she might as well have been looking through glazed glass.

She blinked to clear them and each shape around her intensified, the edges sharpening so that she could see again.

"John…"

He pulled her into his arm sand this time she knew it wasn't her tears obscuring her vision, when they appeared as one in the mirror.

"I thought you were dead. Before your team brought you back home, I truly believed you were gone."

She can feel him tense at her words but he recovers quickly.

"I'm right here," he says softly into her hair. "I'm not going anywhere."

She wants to believe him – more than anything, she wants to believe him – but she knows while he's there now, it won't last. It can't last.

_fin._


	15. Modifications And Consequences

**_Modifications And Consequences_**

A single thought enters John's mind when Rodney informs him that he's found a piece of Atlantean technology that can send people back in time - and he knows how to work it.

Elizabeth.

If he can convince Rodney to make the modifications, he can save her.

He can return to the moment before they decided stupidly to go back inside to wreak havoc in the Replicator ship and make certain that they don't. He can ensure they leave immediately - all of them. He'd gag Rodney if he had to. Whatever it took to bring Elizabeth home, he'd do, so she wasn't left behind to disappear from their, from his, lives as she had.

It'd solve a whole slew of other problems for the city as well to not have the new Wraith problem they'd caused, to contend with again. If they hadn't been so hell-bent on putting a dint in the Replicators' armour, it might have occurred to them that there might be side effects disastrous to the humans of the galaxy and not just the Replicators.

Better yet, he could return to the moment before Elizabeth was initially implanted with the nanites now connected to every fibre of her being and prevent her from being infected at all. Get to the source of the problem and destroy it.

Screw consequences. Things couldn't get much worse than they already were. They'd made this mess and were intent on cleaning it up, however long it took. What was another ripple in the timeline?

If there was even the slightest chance he could get Elizabeth back, nanites or not and side effects or not, he'd take it.

This device could be the answer he's been searching for.

Mind set, he sets off to find Rodney. Whether he can convince his friend to help him or not, he's going to do this.

_fin._


	16. The Worst

**_The Worst_**

Her eyes were wide in terror. Her skin gleamed, pale and translucent. Her face, wrinkled, looked almost lifeless.

Though her lips were parted and moving ever so slowly no words came out.

It was as if someone had pressed slow motion on the remote. Each agonizing second lasted an eternity before it allowed the next to come, and then the next and the next.

A sudden jolt interrupted the painfully slow and yet so fast (too fast) process and her lips halted their movement to form a silent 'O'. Her eyes opened even wider and she looked right at him, piercing him. Blaming him.

He was no longer a bystander looking on but a participant in the cruelty.

He hadn't tried to save her. He hadn't stepped in to take her place. He'd looked on, frozen, unable to move. Her eyes slid from his as she hit the floor and his heart stopped. She was dead.

The Wraith standing over her smiled and fixed him with a challenging stare.

He tried to breathe, turned over and the warmth of Elizabeth's body next to his – her very alive body – shook him awake. He was wiping away his tears when she stirred.

"John?"

He swallowed and slowly brought his eyes to hers.

No longer did she look drained of everything that she was. No longer did she look drained of life.

She was okay. She was _alive_.

He placed a kiss on her forehead and clasped her hand under the sheets. "I'm glad you here."

"Nightmare?"

He sighed as the image of her rapidly ageing body spun into his mind once more. It was so very wrong. They were supposed to grow old together, not die separately at the hands of the Wraith. He smiled grimly. "The worst."

_fin._


	17. Defying Gravity

**_Defying Gravity_**

"Hmmm," Elizabeth muses. "You want me to ask you a question?" She smiles lazily at him and runs a hand over his arm in a friendly gesture, one that if she was sober, she probably wouldn't make.

John fixes her with serious hazel eyes. Nods. "Yeah, ask me anything you want. Anything you can think of. We are trying to get to know one another better, right?"

Elizabeth tilts her head, narrows her eyes slightly. "True. That is true," she confirms. She falls silent and a faraway look crosses her face. She licks her lips.

Watching her intently, John waits.

"Hmmm, how's this?" Elizabeth finally says. "Why do you like flying so much?" There's sincerity in her voice. She truly wants to know.

John grins and stretching, clasps his hands together at the back of his head. "That's an easy one. Flying is..." He pauses. "It's everything. It's defying gravity. It's relaxing sometimes and a rush other times. It's magic."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely! I'll have to take you out sometime."

Elizabeth's lips twitch slightly. "I'll take your invitation as a good sign," she murmurs.

"Hmmm?"

"Oh, uh, it means you must...well, uh, like me some," Elizabeth stammers. "It wouldn't do either of us any good if we can't get along."

John studies her. He nods slowly. Smiles one of his crooked smiles and ducks his head. "I'm sure we'll have absolutely no problems with that. I think we'll get along great."

Elizabeth can feel the heat rise in her cheeks. Maybe she'd have more of a problem with her liking John and he her, than them not getting along. Judging by their current conversation, it seems very likely.

She clears her throat. "It's your turn to ask a question."

_fin._


	18. A White Christmas

**_A White Christmas_**

All John could think about as he sat with the rest of his team around the make-shift Christmas tree Rodney had rustled up was home. He had spent many a Christmas holiday back on Earth trudging through snow, sledding with his friends and throwing snowballs at the house halfway down the street where a creepy old guy lived. This...this wasn't a thing like it.

Usually he didn't mind the differences between Earth and Atlantis, but something Elizabeth had said had struck the part of him that had always loved the holidays and...well, he couldn't help it. He missed home and everything that came with the holidays back on Earth.

He sighed and turned back to the festivities. Rodney was explaining in very specific detail how he used to spend his Christmas', while Ronon and Teyla blantantly ignored him and chatted quietly between themselves. Elizabeth sat off at another table with Carson, a cup of coffee held in her hands and a slight frown on her face. Carson stood up and excited the room as he looked on.

Elizabeth definitely wasn't happy about something.

Maybe he wasn't alone in missing a white Christmas at home.

He pulled himself to his feet, excusing himself when Teyla shot him a questioning glance and Rodney glared at him.

"I'll be back," he assured them.

He headed to the free chair across from where Elizabeth was sitting and pulled it out, turning it so that the back was resting against the table and then placing one leg on either side and sitting down. "Elizabeth," he said quietly. "You okay?"

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and offered him a small smile. Forced. "To be honest, John, I miss Earth a little. Christmas. I've spent it with family - or Simon - every year until this one. It's not that I'm homesick or anything," she said hurriedly. "I just can't help but wonder what I'd be doing if I were there." She faded out and her eyes glossed over as if she was deep in thought.

"I miss it, too," John almost whispered. "It's different here."

Elizabeth glanced at him as if his confession had brought her back to life. One eyebrow cocked up and a laugh escaped her lips. "You can say that again!" she agreed. "It's very different here."

John smiled. "Yeah."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence.

It was minutes later when Rodney fell out of his chair, having leaned forward too far, that they finally spoke again.

"This is nice," John murmured, half watching Rodney splutter and pick himself up off the ground and Ronon sniggered at him and half watching Elizabeth out of the corner of his eye. "Almost makes up for not having a Christmas back on Earth."

"You think so?" Sceptical.

"I do," John confirmed. He turned his attention fully on Elizabeth once more and reached over to take her hand. "In fact, I think if we tried hard enough we can make this one of the best Christmas' of our lives."

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. "John? What are you thinking?"

He grinned and nodded towards the door. "Want to get out of here?" he asked. He ran his tongue over his lips and let his gaze turn suggestively to hers.

She shivered under his stare and before she could stop herself, she had answered and climbed to her feet. "Sure."

Hand in hand, they left silently. Their disappearances remained unnoticed by the others until they returned together an hour or two later, hair a little messier than it had been and clothes not sitting quite right.

Their Christmas' had turned out better than they could have wished for.

_fin._


	19. A Not So Random Happenstance

**_A Not So Random Happenstance_**

"You know, if we were to put mistletoe up somewhere and just happened to pass under it at the same time it would be only right that we kiss in public," he says thoughtfully, running a hand through her curls. He looks at her. "What do you think?"

"It wouldn't be the same as telling people about our change of relationship," she muses, "but I wouldn't say I'm entirely opposed to the idea."

"No?"

"Nope."

"So are we doing this?"

Her eyes sparkle mischievously and her mouth twitches into an almost smile.

"Elizabeth?"

Her smile widens.

"Try to stop me."

_fin._


	20. Save You

**_Save You_**

Two moons glower brightly above him. Somewhere in the near vicinity of them are five more, invisible to the naked eye. He ponders them for a while, trying to settle his mind on things that don't matter and somehow – he has no idea how – he gets onto the topic of Elizabeth, the last person he wants to think about.

Elizabeth.

He misses her, unbelievingly so.

Her loss is like a hole through his heart, sharp and cold and so very unrelenting in its mission to hurt him.

It's surprising that he's still able to function properly in fact, if he's completely honest to himself. Until Elizabeth had been hurt, had her nanites reactivated and then disappeared, he hadn't realised how much she meant to him. He hadn't realised how much he wanted to protect her and keep her from harm and hold her in his arms. He hadn't realised how deep his feelings were for her.

He hadn't realised how strongly he'd want to save her if anything happened to her.

He swallows and replays some of the moments he spent with her over in his head. He recalls standing by her side when it looked like it very well could be the end for Atlantis and for them. He recalls looks they exchanged, small and insignificant to anyone else, but so powerful to them. They could communicate with their eyes. He had realised it a few weeks after they'd arrived on Atlantis. They were so in tune with each other, that it was second nature.

He remembers not being able to sleep and finding her out on the balcony, where he's standing right now.

As he remembers, he feels the hole in his heart widening. He feels it tear, feels it threaten to destroy him. And it will destroy him. He knows it. It's only a matter of time.

He wraps his arms around his middle, tight, desperately and he fixes his eyes back on one of the moons.

He hopes, wishes, prays, that somewhere out there she's alive and well, and looking up at the same moons.

_fin._


	21. A Happy Ending

_A/N: Posting this one as well today since ancientesha asked so nicely for a happy fic. I hope this is what you're looking for! :D_

**_A Happy Ending_**

He finds her out on the balcony, her hair thrown back in the wind. Her hands both clutch the railing, supporting her and there's a vacant expression on her face, as if she's worlds away. It's an expression he's seen her wear many times before.

He joins her, doesn't say a word. He knows she doesn't like to be interrupted at times like these. Rather, he rests his arms on the railing beside her and gazes out to the horizon.

A blend of red and orange and purple paints the sky. It's beautiful and almost haunting and it reminds he that there is more to life than the struggle against the Wraith that he faces daily and the other troubles he endures.

There is good in the universe. There is peace, no matter how hard it is to come by. There is hope. There is love.

He smiles and glances at his companion. She too is smiling softly now. Her eyes, not quite green and not quite hazel, glimmer with unspoken emotion that he can almost feel. When her eyes meet his he knows immediately that she feels it too. She feels everything that he's been experiencing over the past few minutes.

He needs to say something, to put what he feels into words, and decides to break the silence. It feels right to do so.

"I think I know why you like it so much out here," he says.

Her smile widens and her entire face seems to light up. Turning slowly, she looks back out at the sunset. "It makes me believe that a happy ending just might be possible," she says simply.

He knows exactly what she means.

_fin._


	22. Lost You For A Minute

_A/N: For luxuria_oceanus on livejournal. *hugs*_

_**Lost You For A Minute**_

He falls into her embrace the moment they are alone in her quarters after a particularly trying mission. It is like returning home in a sense. He belongs in the warmth of her arms.

He leans into her touch as she runs the fingertips of one hand through his hair.

"I thought we lost you for a minute there," she whispers.

He wants to comfort her and tell her it's all okay, but he doesn't want to lie. One day – soon – it may not be okay. He may not return.

He presses a kiss to her forehead.

"I did, too."

_fin._


	23. Making Do

**_Making Do_**

"What's that?" he asks the moment she ushers him inside her quarters. He nods at the limp form of one of the local trees. One end of it has been stuffed into a glass cylinder probably borrowed from one of the labs and bits of screwed up paper litter its leafy appendages.

She looks at him with a small smile. "I thought it was obvious."

"Well," he replies, "it's not."

Tilting her head in a 'fair enough' gesture, she studies the plant intently.

"Elizabeth?"

"Promise me you won't laugh."

"I promise. What is it?"

"It's a Christmas tree."

"You're sure?"

"Funny."

_fin._


	24. Even Better

_**Even Better**_

"What's that?"

"What's what?"

"That!"

"Hmmm?"

John aims an exasperated glare in Elizabeth's direction. He steps forwards and touches a finger to the gift sitting upon her desk. It's quite small, perhaps the size of a book.

Elizabeth looks at it as if it's the most normal thing to be sitting amongst her paperwork and then fixes him with a blank stare. "John, I don't know what you mean."

"The present, Elizabeth. Who's it from?"

"Oh, that," she teases lightly. "That's from me."

"From you?" he repeats. "I thought that guy gave it to you."

"Mike?"

John nods and refuses to meet her eyes.

"No, I'm afraid I've scared him off," Elizabeth informs him without a hint of remorse. "He's not my type," she adds pointedly.

"What is your type then?"

"Getting a little personal there, Colonel."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I – "

"Relax. I'm joking."

John rolls his eyes and nods again at the gift upon her desk. "So? What is it then? Who's it for?"

"Oh, I don't know. Perhaps I'll give it to Rodney."

"Elizabeth," he warns.

She smiles back at him, eyes glinting. "Okay, okay. I'm done. It's for you," she says.

"Oh yeah?" He raises an eyebrow.

Elizabeth nods. "Merry Christmas, John." She reaches for the gift and hands it to him. If their hands brush it is only by accident and if they linger a little longer than necessary, it means nothing at all. Really.

John takes the gift and with a cocky grin, tears the paper carefully away to reveal the book that's beneath. He frees it of the paper and looks it over, reads the blurb on the back. He raises his eyes to meet Elizabeth's and his grin fades into a more serious look. "You know me well," he says simply. "Thank you."

He shoves a hand into his pocket then and pulls out a smaller gift wrapped in ocean blue paper. "I got you something too," he murmurs, handing it over.

"Oh yeah?"

He nods and watches as Elizabeth slowly unwraps his gift. She flips open the box inside and the look on her face when she sees the necklace in it is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

"I love it, John," she tells him as he helps her put it on.

They share a smile.

"You know what would make this Christmas even better?"

"What?"

John doesn't tell her immediately; he takes her hand in his and gently tugs her from her seat and towards the door. "Let's get out of here," he declares and when she doesn't protest, he leads her to their quarters.

_fin._


	25. Remember Him

_**Remember Him**_

She pictures his face in her mind and tries to hold onto it as best she can. She can feel her memories slipping away from her already, one by one, and he is the last thing that she wants to remember. She doesn't want her last thoughts to be of the badness in her life but rather of the good and he is the best thing that has happened to her.

She clamps her eyes shut against the blinding white light surrounding her and breathes in, out, in, out.

John.

Remember him.

John.

Sheppard.

Remember.

The effects of the planet's atmosphere continue to seep into her mind. Her memories fade until they meld into one another and become nothingness.

John.

She watches as Atlantis slips away.

Her family.

Friends.

Coffee.

John.

And then there is nothing left.

Her world ceases to have meaning.

_fin._


	26. A Second Chance

_**A Second Chance**_

"Come on, Elizabeth! I didn't mean it. We were playing around and it just came out," John pleads. He reaches out and takes her hands in his, looking her in the eye.

Elizabeth returns the look. Glares.

Grimacing inwardly, John tries again. "I really am sorry, Elizabeth. It was a mistake and I shouldn't have said it."

"You should even be thinking it," Elizabeth shoots back. She runs her tongue over her lips. "Not now, especially. Not since we started this thing." She gestures first at herself and then at John. "If this is going to work, it's got to be you and me and no one else."

John nods. He hangs his head, lifting it only when he speaks again. His words are quiet, solemn, deadly serious. "I do want this. Us. More than anything. And I'm sorry for what I said. I am. That tech was cute, but she's nothing compared to you. I was just playing around."

"And 'playing around' makes it okay?"

"Yes!" John says firmly. He wavers when she frowns. "Uh...no?"

"Better." Elizabeth offers a flat smile.

"Okay. No, then. I'm sorry." He pauses. "Give me a second chance? Let me make it up to you?"

Elizabeth allows her smile to grow slightly wider and nods in agreement. "Deal. But this making it up to me better be good. Damn good."

John smiles tentatively back at her, ideas already flooding his brain.

Whatever it takes.

"Oh, it'll be good," he says. "You can count on it."

_fin._


	27. She Only Hears Him

**_She Only Hears Him_**

She embraces him openly in the gate room. People stare. People stop walking and talking to watch. She doesn't care. Her arms wrap around him tightly, tightening around him when he responds and places a kiss on her forehead. He moves down, trailing kisses on her nose then her cheek and finally on her lips. It's only a quick peck but it's enough to earn them a few whistles.

Smiling, she pulls back and takes his hand in hers. "Shall we take this to our room?"

"We most definitely shall," he agrees. Noise follows their departure.

She only hears him.

_fin._


	28. My Job

_**My Job**_

_**Notes:** Sequel to "She Only Hears Him"._

"Well that was different," she says once they're in the safety of his room. "I didn't expect people to be so..."

"Bored?" he supplies.

Nodding, she slips one arm out of her jacket. The material, navy in colour, slides over her skin. She pulls her other arm from it and lets the jacket fall to the floor. It lands with a soft thump, the lines of red standing out against the pale carpet and navy sleeves.

His eyes don't leave her for a moment. "Let's just be thankful they didn't make my return a big thing."

Smirking, "that's my job."

_fin._


	29. For Your Own Good

_**For Your Own Good**_

"It's been awhile," she says.

John nods. "Yeah. It has."

"How is everything – everyone – doing?"

"Atlantis is going great, though now that I've said that something bad will ruin the streak." John smiles wryly.

"That is the way of it."

They look at each other, trying to remember every last detail of the moment while they are able to.

She is first to look away. "You know that I'd love for you to stay here?" she admits quietly.

He locks eyes with her. Swallows.

"So please understand when I say this next bit that what I'm saying is for your own good."

John takes a step closer to her and reaches out a hand to touch her face. "What is it?"

"You don't belong here, John. Your place is at Atlantis. Now that I'm gone, it's up to you to keep them all safe."

"Elizabeth-"

She closes the space between them and gently kisses him before pulling back. "You need to let me go."

"No. Elizabeth!" He watches as she disappears, and with a sudden jolt, he sits up in bed. Sweat beads his forehead, the sheets around him are tangled and there's emptiness in his heart.

He is alone.

_fin._


	30. Secret Falls and Mission Reports

_**Secret Falls and Mission Reports**_

If there was one thing Sheppard was, it was experienced. He hadn't gotten his job for his looks. Well, he didn't think it was purely because of them. Maybe just a bit. In any case though, he had the background required to get the job done and get it done right.

That didn't mean that on occasion, he didn't slip up like most people did. He was just as ordinary as them and just as human. Usually when it mattered, he was there, alert and ready for the situation and he didn't make mistakes. But sometimes, like now, that precision fell though. He couldn't be held to such high standards all the time. He had to be human sometimes.

He fell nearly halfway down the hill before he managed to curl up in just the right way to muffle the tremors going through his body as he rolled to the bottom. Unprepared for the journey down the hill, he had yelled out rather girlishly when he tripped. It was a good thing that Elizabeth, McKay and the others weren't around; he'd never hear the end of it.

A couple more tumbles and he was at the bottom. The soft grass of the field helped to block some of the damage but not all. He would be covered in bruises tomorrow. His back would ache too. He had landed on a tiny stone that dug into his spine and coloured it black and blue.

Laying there, he caught his breath. "Well, crap." He stayed there a moment longer. Regrouped. Studied the top of the hill and wondered if anyone had seen him trip and fall on his behind. No one was there to offer him their concern or jab at his very human mistake. That was something, at least.

Grimly, he shifted and propped himself up using his elbows as supports. The movement sent a jolt of pain through his back. He ignored it and sat the whole way up.

Still, no one yelled to him or laughed. Good. That was the only good thing that had happened today. Then,

"John? What are you doing?"

Wait, what? He glanced up. He'd not seen nor heard Elizabeth approach. How had she gotten there? Had she seen him fall? "Taking in the sights," he said sarcastically.

"I'm not sure you'll see much at the bottom of that hill," she replied with a laugh. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," he said. Under his breath he murmured, "Nothing a little drink won't fix." Alcohol sounded like an amazing idea. Of course then, he might end up falling down another hill or tripping into a hole or something crazy like that. But at least he'd have an excuse.

He made his way up the hill to her, using the tree roots firmly implanted into the ground to help him up.

"You've got a few scratches on you," Elizabeth said when he got there. Reaching out a hand, she gently touched his face. Her fingertips trailed lightly over his sore flesh. "Hopefully it won't bruise."

"It's fine," he insisted. "I've had worse."

"I know you have," she said, but she continued to look at him with the same expression. Concern, he figured it was. Although there was something _more_ in her eyes too. He just couldn't figure out what it was.

"Let's get you to the infirmary and I'll get you a bandaid or two." Without waiting for his response, she started walking, and feeling obligated to follow her, he sighed heavily, glanced around and then chased after her.

In the infirmary, he watched Elizabeth chat quietly with Carson and then retrieve some supplies out of a drawer. Her expression was very matter-of-fact when she walked to join him once more.

He let his legs sway forward and back beneath the bed he sat on, then forward again and back, forward and back. "It's just a scratch," he insisted. "I'm fine."

In actuality, it hurt a lot. A hell of a lot, but he didn't want her to know that. It was a foolish accident and he wanted to keep his pain to himself like any other adult human being would do. She seemed adamant in her belief that he needed to be fixed up though so he reluctantly let her go about and mother him.

He jolted away from her and nearly swore when she dabbed the worst of the scratches with antiseptic.

"Sorry," she said, stifling a smirk.

"You find my pain funny, do you?"

"No. No, of course not. That's why I'm trying to help you." She smiled.

Rolling his eyes, he sat still again and watched her finish cleaning the wound with a sour expression on his face. She applied a bandaid and patted him on the arm. "You're all set," she said.

"Great. I'm out of here," he said and he hurriedly stood up. He was nearly at the door when Elizabeth gently touched his shoulder and corrected him.

"Not quite, Colonel. I have a favour to ask first." There was a wicked glint in her eye. It made him wonder just what she was up to.

"Oh?"

"You remember the mission to Plethon?" she asked.

Groaning, he shook his head. "No. Please no. Elizabeth, you said we didn't have to write that one up. There was a recording of the mission, for god's sake."

"I know. And I'm sorry, John. But I was foolish to let you off on writing it. The documentation has been requested for our next transmission with Earth though and that will be tomorrow in the am."

"Send them the recording," he said.

"I already have. They want your thoughts on the mission, John. McKay is already working on his report and I hope to see yours on my desk by eight tonight."

"But, Elizabeth."

"I could instead just tell everyone that you fell down a hill," she said casually.

"No. I… what? Why would you do that?"

"Because I know you. And you don't want people knowing you tripped." She smiled and waited for his answer.

"Fine," he said with a sigh. "But only because you're an evil, evil person and you blackmailed me. I wonder what they'd all think of you if they knew you did that."

"I wonder what they'd think about you if they knew the lengths I have to go to, to get you to write up your mission reports sometimes," she threw back easily.

"Touché."

Elizabeth smiled, rested her hand on his shoulder for a moment and then left him in the hallway. A technician moved past him as he contemplated her request and the way she went about it. Elizabeth's passion and ability to coax people into bending to her will were things that he admired about her. She was one of the strongest people he knew.

And even if she used her powers for evil, making him write that mission report, he would be very glad to call her his friend and boss. Atlantis wouldn't be the same without her strength, her caring nature, her fierce determination to get the job done and her ability to mess with his head.

_Fin._


	31. Staying on Top

_**Staying on Top**_

It was a day like any other day. There was paperwork to be completed, missions that would require her to send out half the Atlantis mission teams and there was John Sheppard. While the first two things didn't concern her, the third did.

John was fast becoming a big part of her life and she had begun to wonder about that. Was it more than just a professional need that they stay in contact so much? He was the Lead Military Officer and as such they had to talk and ensure they both stayed on top of things and in agreement with each other to keep Atlantis under strong rule.

That said, they saw each other every day when John wasn't away on a mission with his team and most of their interactions consisted of them talking about their days, bickering about how much she worked and whether she should take a break or not, arguing over something that one of them were considering before implementation of said thing, or teaming up against Rodney for some reason or other.

They smiled, they laughed, they fought and they acted, as Rodney had said one time, like they had been married for years. The thing about that was it all came naturally, and in the end they would go to any lengths necessary to protect the other should the situation arise for it.

It scared her to think that maybe that meant something, but think it she did. She stared into space as she thought about it, the end of a pen clenched between her teeth. Had John noticed it too? Surely he had. He was intelligent (it's why she fought to have him on her team in the first place) and he noticed things sometimes that most would not.

She would be surprised if he didn't know, if he hadn't noticed or suspected anything.

There was a knock on the door. She glanced up, at once brought back to the present. "Chuck," she said.

"Sheppard's team won't be back til tomorrow. He said to tell you not to worry and he'll bring you back some of the local cuisine."

"Okay. Thank you." As an afterthought, she asked, "Did Sheppard inform you why they won't be back today?"

Chuck nodded. "Yes, Dr Weir. The locals invited them to stay for another day as things were taking longer than expected."

"Patch him through if he contacts us again."

"Will do."

* * *

The next morning, she was in her office when the call came. "It's Sheppard," Chuck told her, and then he patched him through to her headset. She thanked him and waited for him to leave before speaking.

"John?"

"Elizabeth. Hey." He sounded tired, like maybe he hadn't slept.

"Hey, are you all right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, we're good. Should be back in two hours." There was a faint squabbling sound and then someone - Ronon, perhaps? - scolded Rodney. "Okay. Maybe things are tense here," he admitted, "But we're still alive and we've got new allies in the locals here. We were up all night finalizing the treaty."

"Excellent job," she said. "I'll see you when you get back and you can fill me in on the details."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Showers first though, and then the debrief. Trust me. You'll be asking for us to shower when we get there."

"That bad?"

"Worse," he confirmed. "Let's just say there was an incident with some of the native flora that secretes some funky slime when you touch it, and Rodney was in a very touchy mood."

In the background she heard Rodney protest, "Hey!"

"We'll discuss that later and if the locals don't mind, I'll send out our bontanist for further research. And John?"

"What's up?"

"I have something I'd like to talk about when you get here. As soon as possible if you don't mind." She wet her lips with her tongue and swallowed. She hadn't meant to say that. It had just come to her when she heard his voice that maybe she should bring up her thoughts about the two of them. Why she had thought it was a good idea, she didn't know.

"Of course. We'll talk."

"Great."

"Later then, 'lizabeth. Should be an hour or two, tops."

She smiled at that. "I'll see you then."

It was two and a half hours before John and his team showed up. She had spent the previous half hour worrying that something had gone wrong. Chuck had comforted her a few times and said they were probably just late and had misjudged their return time. She hadn't been so sure.

When the stargate activated and John's code came through, she was relieved. When John stepped through after his team, she let out the breath she hadn't realised she had been holding.

She immediately headed down and met John and his team on the steps. "You're late," she accused.

John shrugged and gave her a sheepish grin. "I may have gotten distracted," he admitted. "See, there was a bar and the locals were really friendly there and we ended up having a few drinks."

"On the job?" she said.

"They didn't tell us it was alcohol at first! They called it something else. And we figured it'd be rude to say no."

John's team, greeting those who were around to welcome them back, began a leisurely walk away to their quarters and showers. Rodney complained loudly to Chuck about the stench that was soaking into his clothing and asked the poor technician to order him another uniform – to which she said quickly, "That's not Chuck's job, Rodney. Go and shower and put on some washing."

When she turned back to John she caught him staring at her, an odd look on his face. He swallowed and then things seemed to return to normal. "So you wanted to talk about something?"

"Shower and then meet me out on the balcony?" she suggested.

He faked a pout. "Are you saying I smell bad?"

Straight-faced, she nodded. "Yes."

"I'm hurt. But you are right about that. I'll see you on the balcony in twenty."

"Great." She smiled and watched as he gave her a quick wave and headed off, and then she headed to the balcony to wait. It was a nice day, not too hot and not too cold. There was a gentle breeze, but the sunlight cancelled it out and warmed her skin. The water reflected the sunlight up at her and sparkled down below.

Where the water lapped at Atlantis' edges, there were a few more waves. Here they were more like thousands of tiny snow-capped mountains (or an avalanche perhaps), or white horses or whatever that saying was. White horses did have a kind of poetry to it and she could picture the waves as a row of tiny white horses prancing along til they melted and became a part of the ocean around them.

She caught herself staring at the water a few minutes later. The metal of the railing had warmed beneath her fingers and the breeze was pushing her hair back. She shook her head to get some hair out of her face and when that didn't work, she tucked it behind her ears, momentarily letting go of the railing to do so.

Gripping it again, she closed her eyes and breathed in. The air was crisp, clean. It wasn't often back on Earth that she could close her eyes and shut everything out for a few moments and just breathe. The air was too polluted in most places for that. It was different here. Better.

She found herself wondering if she would ever choose to go back. She found herself realising that no, she wouldn't want to return to Earth. Atlantis has become her home and is more a home to her now than anywhere on Earth ever was. The mission team has become her family and friends.

That brought her back to thinking about John and what she was going to say to him. She was still at a loss with that when he arrived, fresh from his shower.

John was smiling. His hair was still wet and spiked up in strange ways that gravity should not allow. He had that just showered scent that men get and he had shaved the bits of beard that had grown while he was on mission. He wore a black shirt and jeans.

She smiled nervously back as he approached and then glanced back out at the water, exhaled and twisted around to face him. "Good shower?"

"Great shower," he confirmed. "It took a lot of scrubbing but I think I got most of the smell away."

"That's good. We still have that debrief session this afternoon."

"Meaning what exactly?" John teased.

"You know what I mean," she said with a smirk.

"I guess I can't argue with your logic. It'll be a much nicer meeting if we're not all holding our noses. Albeit less amusing." He smiled wryly. "I'm now thinking what it would sound like to have Rodney debrief us all while holding his nose. I don't think I could handle the squeaking."

"Let's be glad we won't have to worry about that."

"Oh, I am. I really am," John said. He smirked and then raised his hands above his head, stretching. His shirt stretched against his chest and she allowed herself a quick glance before she looked away and pretended not to have seen. "So what was it you wanted to talk about? Is everything okay, 'lizabeth?"

She sighed. Why did he have to say his name like that? It was just so...

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. I guess I'm just distracted."

"Okay," he said. "What by?"

She cringed. Tell him or brush it off? She wasn't sure which option would be the best. She did know which the safest way would be, but she didn't want to chicken out now that she had finally done something toward seeing if there was more between them than they both let on.

"Elizabeth?"

Okay. She had to do something. She had to tell him something and fast, before he started to worry. Before he freaked and sent her to see Carson again. She felt her face flushing as she moved closer to him; she could tell he was beginning to grow nervous, which wasn't helping her own nerves at all.

And then she kissed him. She hadn't intended to, just as earlier she hadn't intended on telling John she wanted to talk to him about something. It was the natural next step in her situation, she told herself, and so she just did it. She pulled back after a moment and ducked her head, unsure if she wanted to see John's expression.

What if he didn't feel the same? Why had that not occurred to her before?

She need not have worried.

John gave a short laugh (her heart skipped a few beats and fear went through her) and then he angled her face up and leaned down and kissed her back. It was little more than a chaste kiss, but it gave her an immediate sense of relief.

"You were saying?" he said.

"I was going to, but no," she replied. "I think after that, I don't need to use words."

He smirked and pulled her close again. "Actions, then?"

_Fin._


	32. Inadequacies

_**Inadequacies**_

He spends most of the week trying to decide what to get her for Christmas. It's not that she is hard to buy for. He knows her well enough now to know the sorts of things that she likes.

His problem is finding something she will like, that will also show her how much he cares for her. He doesn't want something too over the top but ordinary just won't cut it this time around. It can't be so obvious that anyone else will question his intentions with it either.

He asks around for gift ideas – not saying for whom he is looking for – but nothing seems right. Nothing feels adequate.

By the time Christmas has arrived, all he has managed to put together for her is another pottery piece to match with the urn-like piece he got her for her first birthday on Atlantis, and a handful of berries from the mainland.

It's not enough. Others would disagree, he knows. Others don't understand his connection with her though. And it isn't like there is an abundance of places around where he can buy gifts. He doesn't care about that. Store bought gifts would actually be worse.

Even so, when he shows up at her door to exchange gifts with her in private, he can't fight back the feeling of disappointment in himself for not getting her the best gift possible.

She manages to pick up on his mood and wheedles it out of him. With a laugh, she prods him gently on the chest.

"You're given me the best present I could ever ask for," she tells him.

His eyes widen in utter confusion.

"You've saved us all many times over," she explains, gesturing around them. "And you're here with me now. That's all I could ever ask for."

_fin._


	33. Falling Hard on Impact

_**Falling Hard on Impact**_

John sighed. He'd never been so relieved or so happy to see another human being. The weights that had been upon him had lifted on seeing Elizabeth safe and unharmed, and it was all he could do to restrain himself and not race over to hug her.

He didn't know how she would react if he hugged her as fiercely as he wanted to. He wasn't sure he wanted to know why he felt that way himself, because surely such a hug would raise the question, was he falling for her? Did he have a thing for the leader of Atlantis?

Yes.

The answer was simple. It popped into his mind the moment his questions arose. And yet, he still felt uncertain. How could he be sure that he wasn't just letting his feelings get away from him after a nasty mission?

He shook his head and wrung his hands at his front, glancing down the hall as he did so. He could hear footsteps coming in his direction. It sounded like Elizabeth. Despite everything, he smiled.

And then he realised he smiled a lot around Elizabeth. She made him happy. She was fun to be around.

Oh, hell. He _was_ falling for her.

She rounded the corner and moved into the part of the hall where his eyes were focused. When she saw him, she smiled too. "Hello, John."

"Elizabeth," he nodded.

"I was just looking for you," she told him. "I have some questions about those changes you made with the-"

"Elizabeth, do you want to have dinner with me?"

"-the, uh… what?"

"Dinner. You. Me." John pointed at each of them in turn.

"You mean, as a date?" There was a cautious smile on her face and her eyebrows were slightly more crooked than usual.

"I.. uh. Well. Yeah. As a date," he said. "I was thinking and it occurred to me that you like food and I like food. It snowballed from there."

She laughed. "Is that so?"

He shrugged and grinned nervously.

Growing serious again, Elizabeth took a moment to think. He marvelled at how beautiful she looked when she was serious. The corners of her eyes crinkled slightly and her eyebrows quirked up a little more.

There was no time for him to get worried about her response, because she had a small smile on her face and surely she wouldn't smile if she was going to turn him down. His assumption was proved correct a few seconds later.

"Yes," she said.

"Yes?"

"Eight o'clock, and you can pick me up from my office," she suggested.

"Done." He grinned. "I'll see you at eight."

_fin_


	34. Colour Change

**_Colour Change_**

He tore off his shirt, threw it to the ground. Glared at it. The stupid black shirt didn't respond. It lay there, limp and slightly damp with sweat and it didn't move.

"Damnit," he cursed.

He was sick to death of the colour black. In all honesty, it was one of the colours he would be least likely to choose for his uniform. Why not khaki or something more camouflage-y? Why not navy blue?

Black was so... black and it made him think of all the times he was in a dark place, both figuratively and literally.

It reminded him of sad times, of funerals, of death and of destruction and the pit of despair and emptiness it left in its path. It reminded him of sad times, of bad times, of times that were long gone and best not recalled.

With a swift kick, he moved the shirt to the opposite side of the room. It thwacked heavily against the wall and then slid down it and puddled on the floor, half pushed against the same wall.

That done, he headed for his chest of drawers. Pulling open a drawer, he rummaged through it. More black shirts. A pale blue one with a white collar and buttons. Black shirt. A green one.

"Huh." He pulled out the green one. "Where did you come from?" he asked it. He couldn't remember it.

Standing in front of his mirror, he studied his reflection. And he soon realised why he had forgotten about that particular shirt.

It didn't suit him in the slightest. And it was very feminine.

Hurriedly, he pulled it off. When he turned back around, Elizabeth was watching him curiously, like she'd just found out that he was actually, in his true form, a goat.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

He tossed the green shirt at her and shrugged.

"I'm sick of wearing black all the time," he said simply.

She simply nodded. "I know how you feel. I like red, but wearing it every day is insane.

"New shipment of clothing with the next supplies from Earth?"

"I'm on it," she agreed, with a smile. "Til then, keep away from my shirts. You'll stretch them too much."

"Ha," he said. "Funny."

_fin.._


	35. Been Ready

_**Been Ready**_

When she enters the cafeteria, John is wearing a pair of glasses perched on the end of his nose as far as they'll go without falling off. Around him, a table of women from the Atlantis mission team are going between grinning madly and giggling at him. Their attention seems to encourage his childish behaviour (which is not endearing, she tells herself and as she watches, he removes the glasses only to tilt his head back and replace them with a spoon.

She takes the opportunity to walk over while he is distracted.

His balancing act is rather impressive – or it would be if she wasn't madly against the idea of admitting it. She watches him for a moment and then clears her throat. Loudly.

John jumps at the noise and his spoon is reunited with the table. "Whoa! Elizabeth!"

"Hello, John."

One of the women frowns at her. She smiles back.

"What's up?" John asks. He puts the palms of his hands flat on the table in front of him, turns and finally looks at her properly. "Huh. Wow, Elizabeth! You look-"

"Yes?" she smirks.

"Uh, wow!" Mouth jutting open slightly, he stares at her.

"I'm sorry, Colonel. I didn't quite catch that."

"You look beautiful," he says. Not taking his eyes from hers, he feels for his glasses on the table and grabs them. He runs his tongue over his lips. ":If you'll excuse me, ladies," he says, "my date has arrived."

"Yeah, she has," she confirms with a smirk.

"You ready to go, Elizabeth?" He stands up and reaches for her hand, the woman at the table behind him already forgotten and scowling at them both.

"Oh," she said, "I've been ready for awhile now."

_fin._


	36. One Spoon

_**One Spoon**_

"That's complete nonsense," he insists, crossing his arms over his chest. "I did nothing of the sort."

"John, I saw you!"

He cringes but covers it up quickly. Uncrossing his arms, he reaches a hand up to drag it through his hair. "Oh, is that how this is gonna be?"

Her lips curl up slightly in amusement. She nods. "Oh, yes. You have no idea how much trouble you've gotten yourself into with this."

He studies her, perhaps sizing her up. She isn't certain about that, but she thinks it's a good possibility. He's likely trying to determine how mad she is at him and how to go about the next few minutes without suffering the weight of her wrath.

She manages to wipe any last remnants of amusement from her face, replacing it with as blank a look as she can muster. If he's on edge about how she's taking his defiant act, then she might as well take the opportunity. There are all sorts of things she can get up to, knowing that he'll do whatever it takes to stay on her good side.

"Yes," she says slowly. "It will take time to think of a suitable punishment."

His mouth juts open slightly. "You're not joking?"

"John. Be serious! What you did was the last straw! I can't have people - my husband included - sneaking about, or at least trying to sneak about, and stealing my ice cream! It's outrageous that you would suggest otherwise!"

"Hey now!" He put his hands up in front of him in a defensive motion. "I'll get you some more if it means so much to you. Hell, I'll get you anything you want if you just tell me."

She can feel a smile tugging at her lips and she can't quite keep it in check. Soon, he will see through her little game and it will be all over. "Would you get me a dog?" she asks.

"Anything for you," he confirms. "I believe they had some dog-like animals on the last planet Lorne's team went to. They were wild dogs but with some training one could make a great pet! If you give me the go-ahead I'll..."

She breaks. Laughter spills from her and she nearly doubles over, tears leaking from her eyes.

"What?" He hesitates. "Elizabeth? What is it?"

"I really don't mind about the ice cream, John." She claps a hand over her face, covering most of her mouth.

He doesn't look overly impressed.

"And you'd actually... You would go to that planet to get a wild dog to train for me?"

"Ha. Funny."

"Would you?"

"Yeah. Of course." He shakes his head and turns so his back is to her. "You know that, Liz. I really would do anything for you."

"Good," she says. "Get the rest of the ice cream out then?"

Frowning still, he nods. "Sure." He returns within minutes holding a plastic container and a spoon. "Here you go."

"Only one spoon?"

"You were expecting more than one spoon?" He quirks an eyebrow.

Shoving the spoon into the ice cream, she scoops some up. She raises it and instead of eating it herself, she feeds it to him. "Yes, I was." She smirks. "I guess we'll just have to share."

_fin._


	37. Empty Crater

_**Empty Crater**_

Gone. Nothing left but an empty crater inside his chest, where she used to be. Even now, months later, John yearns for her return. Even with the positive changes in his life, he can barely function without her. He still wakes up sometimes, and expects her to be right there, waiting for him.

It's a good thing he has Elizabeth in his life still - and in a greater capacity than before their loss. Elizabeth feels the loss of Atlantis as much as he does, if not more. They can relate in a way that few others can, and if anything, that has brought them closer together.

There had been a time where he thought having Elizabeth around would be a constant reminder, and would make the pain that much worse, but that time was over. They had gradually come to rely on one another, to share support that they could not get from anyone else.

With Atlantis gone, he needs Elizabeth like never before.

He can only be glad that they still have each other.

_fin._


End file.
